Hey Pastor, How's Your Wife Doing?
Todd Rhoads, posted this great reminder at my favorite blog: Monday Morning Insight:
Hey Pastor, How's Your Wife Doing?
I received a gripping email from a pastor's wife this week. She asked not to be identified; but she was clearly tired and frustrated at all the responsibilities of being a 'pastors' wife'. In addition, she found that her husband was so involved in the ministry of the church and his job, that he had little time for her or their family.
It's something that I hear quite often; and it's an easy trap for pastors to fall into, especially if you tend to be a workaholic. Anyway... she passed on a poem that she wrote for her journal and gave me permission to share it here; hoping that "some husbands (like mine) could really use a reminder that their wife and children are important and should be placed in priority above the church."
So read this, and ask yourself honestly... could my wife have written this? If so, take some time off this afternoon and start anew...
I want a ticket to ride,
to ride to who-knows-where
A place where faith means more than self-sacrifice.
Where faith gives and doesn't just take.
A place where men-of-God are also men-of-their-families.
I want to go to a place, where I can be myself..
released from expectations and loads placed upon my chest, weighing me down, yet no one offers to lend a hand-
I want to breathe fresh air again.
Where is this place? Does it exist? Can I find it? If I try, will I only cause pain to those I love?
Why oh Why can it not, just be-
Why is life so lonely, so lonely.
I want a ticket to ride
to a place that is who-knows-where.
This place holds a hand, it reaches out to love
It joins in when times are tough and not just flowing smoothly. This hand does not offer judgment, and condemnation, nor is it condescending.
It is lovingly, kind-hearted and genuine. It sees past the heart-ache and loves anyway.
I want a ticket to ride
a ticket to who-knows-where
A place where needs are met by many
Where secrets are not so obvious
Where pain is, where pain is not
A place where mothers are also women of sound mind and emotion. Where moms/wives are known by their first name. Where a gifts and talents are not taken advantage of but respected, and enjoyed by others.
Where is this place who-knows-where? Can I find it?
Hey Pastor, How's Your Wife Doing?
I received a gripping email from a pastor's wife this week. She asked not to be identified; but she was clearly tired and frustrated at all the responsibilities of being a 'pastors' wife'. In addition, she found that her husband was so involved in the ministry of the church and his job, that he had little time for her or their family.
It's something that I hear quite often; and it's an easy trap for pastors to fall into, especially if you tend to be a workaholic. Anyway... she passed on a poem that she wrote for her journal and gave me permission to share it here; hoping that "some husbands (like mine) could really use a reminder that their wife and children are important and should be placed in priority above the church."
So read this, and ask yourself honestly... could my wife have written this? If so, take some time off this afternoon and start anew...
I want a ticket to ride,
to ride to who-knows-where
A place where faith means more than self-sacrifice.
Where faith gives and doesn't just take.
A place where men-of-God are also men-of-their-families.
I want to go to a place, where I can be myself..
released from expectations and loads placed upon my chest, weighing me down, yet no one offers to lend a hand-
I want to breathe fresh air again.
Where is this place? Does it exist? Can I find it? If I try, will I only cause pain to those I love?
Why oh Why can it not, just be-
Why is life so lonely, so lonely.
I want a ticket to ride
to a place that is who-knows-where.
This place holds a hand, it reaches out to love
It joins in when times are tough and not just flowing smoothly. This hand does not offer judgment, and condemnation, nor is it condescending.
It is lovingly, kind-hearted and genuine. It sees past the heart-ache and loves anyway.
I want a ticket to ride
a ticket to who-knows-where
A place where needs are met by many
Where secrets are not so obvious
Where pain is, where pain is not
A place where mothers are also women of sound mind and emotion. Where moms/wives are known by their first name. Where a gifts and talents are not taken advantage of but respected, and enjoyed by others.
Where is this place who-knows-where? Can I find it?
Maybe a "small group" of pastor's wives in the community would help...imagine the support and insights that could be gained from each other! Rather than loneliness and frustration, there could be beautiful friendships and a lightening of each other's burdens.
ReplyDeleteGood thought Naomi. However, Cathy has found that groups like that often magnify the "role" or "expectation" rather than diminish it.
ReplyDeleteShe has found a couple of groups of women where she is just Cathy -- and not Cathy, "the pastor's wife," That's refreshing to her -- that people see her as a person rather than as a function.
Wife? Wife? Oh, I was so busy doing ministry I forgot I had one!
ReplyDeleteLike the article said, wives and families are placed further down the list then what they should be. I have also struggle with doing this. My priorities need to change to be God first, Family second, and then ministry.
ReplyDelete