Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear as a Pastor

10. We need to sing more contemporary choruses.
9. Your alliteration and parallel construction of main points, as well as your solid biblical hermeneutic, made today's message memorable.
8. I would really love to teach the junior high Sunday school class.
7. You make way too many home and hospital calls. You need to spend more time with your family.
6. You don't need the board's approval; just do what you feel God would want for this church.
5. Your sermons could be a bit longer.
4. We're going to give you a 10 percent salary increase and an extra week of vacation.
3. Your children are so well-behaved.
2. Is it okay if we tithe more than 10 percent?
1. You're a much better preacher than that televangelist with the big hair.

(Swiped from Jim Watkins!)


mbs said…
Even though listed under humor, I strongly disagree with number 8.
- I would really love to teach the junior high Sunday school class. -

Pastors (like other leaders) often develp selective hearing. Perhaps the Pastor did not hear the offer to teach from the individual he desired for the position. And the class plus the would-be-teacher lead by God to volunteer were the losers.
mark o wilson said…
Good point mbs. And actually, I DID have a person volunteer to teach Junior High! We had nominated him to be a trustee. He made an appointment to come in and see me. Holding the "nomination letter" in his hand, he said, "Pastor, I just can't do this. . . but if you'll have me, I'd be happy to help with the Junior High."

I just about fell off my chair -- "Have you??? Junior High??? Yippeee!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!"
Cora White said…
Mark I will come to your church and request more fast songs with some true depth.

the rest did make me giggle.
we are currently struggling with Sunday School as a hole right now.
hrh said…
Sometimes a person has to be encouraged to reach outside their comfort zone.

I have been told that the best way to learn is to teach. We need to be open minded and reach out also to people in the Church who would not normally become involved.

A good Teacher, is a good mentor. He teaches the class with care and passion and if he does his job right, many in his class can become even better than the Teacher.

I have found that many in a class have been discouraged to teach because the Teacher saw himself as
the appointed one and not a mentor.
john said…
The very best children/youth leader our church ever had was forced out because of the green-eye monster. Many others have decided it is fruitless to volunteer.

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