Revitalize Your Church

 "Half the harm that is done in the world,"  said poet,  T.S. Eliot , "is done  by people who want to feel important. They do not mean to harm. There  are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves."  I've discovered that most of the time, people mean well. Even when  they speak or behave in troubling ways that makes us wonder -- they  mean well.   It's best to give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.  Yet, at the same time, it is also beneficial to examine our own motives, and try to understand more deeply how our behavior effects others.  Sometimes, winning the argument loses the fight. A marriage counselor once asked a distraught husband,  "Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?"  After a frustrating conversation one day, I thought, "What he said spoke so loud, I couldn't understand a word  he meant!"  Perhaps, the best path is mapped out by  St. Francis...

Communication is to love what blood is to the body. When it ceases to flow, love dies, and rigor mortis of resentment sets in. The ancient prophet, Amos, asked the rhetorical question, "Can two walk together except they be agreed?" Bob, walking by his neighbor's house, saw him struggling with a couch halfway in the front door. He walked up to his friend and asked, "Hey Fred, need a hand?" "Sure!" came the reply, "I'm glad you stopped by. This has been a real challenge," So, he grabbed the end of the couch and started pushing -- but it wouldn't budge an inch. For about twenty minutes, both men struggled and strained as hard as they could, but made absolutely no progress. Finally, dropping the couch from exhaustion, Bob said, "You know, Fred, this is just crazy! I can't understand why it's so hard for us to get this couch into the house." "Into the house??" Fred replied, "I've been tr...

1. What the speaker intended to say. 2. What the speaker actually said. 3. What the speaker thought he or she said. 4. What the hearer needed to hear. 5. What the hearer actually heard. 6. What the hearer thought he or she heard (HT Richard Dobbins )

Most of us are less than candid. We don’t want to hurt feelings or upset people, so we keep quiet and let troubling things slide by. Of course, we’re taught that from childhood. Parents and teachers said “good boys and girls stay in their places with zipped lips.” “Tattle tale” is the worst possible childhood crime. This mindset is reinforced in the workplace, where people who rock the boat often receive the boot. Most bosses are more concerned about “keeping peace” than “making things right.” Of course, as Teddy Roosevelt said, “There is no unrighteous peace.” Thus, the whole environment becomes a haze of unspoken tension and discontent. The very peace we’re trying to attain by silence eludes us. Usually, everybody knows the issue, but nobody wants to talk about “the elephant in the room.” We’re like the villagers in Hans Christian Anderson’s tale, who gawked at their emperor strutting his stuff in the buff, believing he was fully clothed. It took a guileless child to p...

Now I lay me down to sleep. The sermon's long; the subject's deep. If he should quit before I wake, I ask someone, "Give me a shake!" -- from John Maxwell's book, Everyone Communicates but Few Connect

What is most personal is most general – Carl Rogers

If crime went down 100%, it would still be 50 times higher than it should be. ~Washington, D.C. councilman John Bowman The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing ~Dizzy Dean, baseball star Most of our future lies ahead ~Harry Truman I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them ~George Bush, Sr. Things are more like they are now than they've ever been ~Gerald Ford Every man loves his native land, whether he was born there or not ~Thomas Fitch, author. I'm always open to honest criticism from you judgmental creeps ~Robert Altman, film director on critics I hate intolerant people ~Gloria Steinem HT Steve Camp. More Confused Quotes Here

I am convinced that in order to move forward, we must say openly to each other the things we hold in our hearts and that too often are said only behind closed doors. There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other, to learn from each other, to respect one another, and to seek common ground. -- President Barak Obama in his June 4, 2009 Cairo speech to the Muslim world

Seth Godin on rapid change in the communications business. How does this relate to church?

I say "Amen" to Scott McKnight's assessment of Pastor Pages on Church Websites.

There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don’t take much to see that something is wrong,but it takes some eyesight to see what will put it right again. -- Will Rogers

In his 1930 essay, "Dialogue," Martin Buber distinguished between genuine dialogue and "monologue disguised as dialogue which he has characterized ... solely by the desire to have one's own self-reliance confirmed by marking the impression that is made." Read the rest here at Tom Peters' blog.

To improve communication, work not on the utterer, but the recepient. -- Peter F. Drucker

Communication is to love what blood is to the body. When it comes to a halt, love dies, as resentment and bitterness set in. The ancient prophet, Amos, asked the rhetorical question, "Can two walk together except they be agreed?" Bob, walking by his neighbor's house, saw him struggling with a couch halfway in the front door. He walked up to his friend and asked, "Hey Fred, need a hand?" "Sure!" came the reply, "I'm glad you stopped by. This has been a real challenge," So, he grabbed the end of the couch and started pushing -- but it wouldn't budge an inch. For about twenty minutes, both men struggled and strained as hard as they could, but made absolutely no progress. Finally, dropping the couch from exhaustion, Bob said, "You know, Fred, this is just crazy! I can't understand why it's so hard for us to get this couch into the house." "Into the house??" Fred replied, "I've been trying to push it OU...

My family has had to repeat a lot of things lately. They mumble something, I say, "Huh?" and then they say it all over again. Sometimes, I wonder if they do this on purpose, just to get my goat! My kids are teasing me about going deaf. I guess that's what I get for listening to rock and roll music full blast in my headphones as a teenager. It's payback time for me. (and a warning for the MP3 generation) I'm not totally deaf, mind you. I can still hear whispered plottings behind my back. It was that way with my dad too. He didn't hear what I wanted him to hear, but sure he heard everything I didn't want him to hear! All this fuss about my hearing, lately, has reminded me how important it is to listen. There are a lot of folks in this world who have a very fine set of ears -- and yet they don't listen! They're too busy talking: mouths wide open and ears closed shut! I'd much rather be hard of hearing than hard of listening! In case you're won...

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word, is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." -- Mark Twain (via David Foster ) I recall as a student, attempting to write a paper on cultish behavior and "negative group think", but couldn't find the right words to capture "bad groups." So, I went to the Thesaurus and looked up "Bad" -- found "Ill." Now, that's a great word! Then, I paged over to "Groups" and found another fantastic moniker -- "Clumps!" ILL CLUMPS!! Church folks better be careful to keep the faith, love the neighbors, and stay sweet -- otherwise, they'll just be Ill Clumps! How's that for a first try at lightening??