Revitalize Your Church

Three humors of the human heart interpret reality.  Humor inspired by heaven above, sustaining the soul, abundant in love.  Humor devised of earthen clay, resulting in hollow and shallow dismay. Humor forged in hellish flames, exalting abasement, mired in shame. O, which shall my humor be?

If crime went down 100%, it would still be 50 times higher than it should be. ~Washington, D.C. councilman John Bowman The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing ~Dizzy Dean, baseball star Most of our future lies ahead ~Harry Truman I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them ~George Bush, Sr. Things are more like they are now than they've ever been ~Gerald Ford Every man loves his native land, whether he was born there or not ~Thomas Fitch, author. I'm always open to honest criticism from you judgmental creeps ~Robert Altman, film director on critics I hate intolerant people ~Gloria Steinem HT Steve Camp. More Confused Quotes Here

Reviewing my journals, I came across an interesting entry from a few years ago. I had written a couple of stupid poems, that I thought were really funny, but when I shared them with Cathy, she was totally unimpressed. So, I ended up writing another poem about the use of humor: Three humors of the human heart Interpret reality. Humor inspired by heaven above, Sustaining the soul Abundant in love. Humor devised of earthen clay, Resulting in hollow And shallow dismay. Humor forged in hellish flames, Exalting abasement, Mired in shame. O, which shall MY humor be?

I'm tempted to have our choir sing this one at the Candlelight Christmas Eve Services. . . and then preach a sermon on repentance. (HT Frank Viola)

My cousin Janet e-mailed me recently from Tennessee. She says it's so hot down there the trees are whistling for the dogs.

To commemorate the 500th aniversary of the birth of John Calvin: Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday Dear Johnny! Happy Birthday To You! Q: What do get when John Piper drinks Mountain Dew? A: A Hyper Calvinist! A birthday gift from Purgatorio: 25 Signs That You Might Be Obsessing About Calvinism A good word from my friend, David Drury: What I Learned from the Calvinists

Note to self: Edit church cookbooks BEFORE printing. Even if 'Guinea pig is regarded as a nutritious meal in the Andes. It is easily digested and has a lot of good nutritional content ," Sorry, Lutherans, It's best to leave that recipe OUT. We were caught, once, with a church cookbook recipe that slipped through the editorial process. It was called "Cal Can Surprise" The recipe went something like this: 1) Open a can of Cal Can 2) Put it on a plate and serve it to your guest. 3) Watch their surprise, when they taste it. Sort of along the order of baked guinea pig. (HT CMS)

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his own tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting to old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me. Love, Dad The son replied: Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies Love, Vinnie At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances Love you, Vinnie ...

I got a kick out of this picture of the Snow Pope at IWU. Found it via Keith Drury's facebook. Thanks Keith!

Let's Blame It On the Baptists!

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made $998.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave hi...

Cathy and I went on a double date with our friends, Steve and Linda, to Olive Garden and a performance of the musical comedy, Church Basement Ladies last evening. The play was thoroughly enjoyable -- with an odd familiarity -- bringing to mind many "long-forgotten" church basement memories. "This is most certainly true!"

I wonder if this belonged to one of the apostles? Simon the Zealot strikes me as the kind of guy who would wear an earring. I recall the time, when I was graduating from seminary, I received an invitation to start a new congregation in a college town. In the letter, they outlined the vision, the demographics of the community, and their expectations for the pastor. The letter ended with a p.s. -- "and of course, your wife will not be permitted to wear earrings." They forgot say anything about ME wearing earrings. For a while, I was tempted to go ahead, take the position, and get my ear pierced.

Arriving at church yesterday morning, we discovered that the First Lutheran Youth Group had blessed us with a large flock of Pink Flamingos -- right at the front entrance. Bless the dear Lutherans.

A little bird told me that my mother is going to be checking my blog this afternoon --so, I guess I'd better be careful what I write today! HI MOM!! I think you're awesome! When I remember you, I recall these words of the great president, Abraham Lincoln, "All I am today, I owe to my dear mother." And then Momma replies, "Now, don't go blaming me for that! I tried to raise you right!"

I thought I would be creative for today's wedding and weave in a passage of Scripture that related to this special date -- 8/8/08 I wondered if Psalm 88:8 might be appropriate. So, I looked it up -- and decided I'd better not use it.

After much deliberation, and despite loud protests by the congregation, the church board voted to trade Pastor Favre to the Presbyterians.

My old friend from yesteryear, Sam Crabtree, serves on staff with John Piper at Bethlehem Baptist Church. Recently, following a discussion about changes in their Deacon Ministry, Sam penned a new hymn. It is posted at Desiring God, and sung to the tune of "A Mighty Fortress". A mighty deacon is our man; He does what others think he can. Qualifications he doth meet. Electing him they thinketh sweet. And so they cast their vote; They do not rock the boat Their craft and pow’r are great: Quorum! Electorate! That deacon look is in his eye. Did he in his own strength confide, That deacon would be freakin’. But what’s a deacon spozed to do? His job is what we’re tweakin’. Dost ask what tasks they be? Might they be two? Or three? How shall he play the game? From age to age the same: With deacon look there in his eye. And though this world with deacons filled Should threaten to undo us, We will not fear, for votes have willed: Electing deacons to us. If you’re a deacon, deek! If yo...