Monday, May 12, 2008

Thoughts on Communication

Communication is to love what blood is to the body. When it comes to a halt, love dies, as resentment and bitterness set in.

The ancient prophet, Amos, asked the rhetorical question, "Can two walk together except they be agreed?"

Bob, walking by his neighbor's house, saw him struggling with a couch halfway in the front door. He walked up to his friend and asked, "Hey Fred, need a hand?"

"Sure!" came the reply, "I'm glad you stopped by. This has been a real challenge,"

So, he grabbed the end of the couch and started pushing -- but it wouldn't budge an inch. For about twenty minutes, both men struggled and strained as hard as they could, but made absolutely no progress.

Finally, dropping the couch from exhaustion, Bob said, "You know, Fred, this is just crazy! I can't understand why it's so hard for us to get this couch into the house."

"Into the house??" Fred replied, "I've been trying to push it OUT of the house!!"

When we don't communicate we, we often end up working against each other. You can't walk together unless you're going the same direction.

None of us are mind readers, so the only way to go the same direction is through clear, loving communication.

Doesn't communication cause fights? What if the things I need to communicate are hurtful? Isn't it better to just shut up and bear it?

Certainly, unwise and thoughtless communication can cause fights, but the LACK of communication causes far more fights -- a hundred times more! It's better to communicate even the unpleasant things, rather than bottling them up inside, if you want your relationship to thrive.

The secret here is to practice the fine art of "disagreeing agreeably." This is mostly a matter of keeping a right attitude and sweet spirit as you deal with challenging issues.

All relationships require give and take. Great relationships require GIVE and GIVE!

1) Give In. You don't have to always get your way to be happy. Sometimes, the best and most loving thing is to submit to the other person's point of view.

2) Give More. Can you give more love, attention and energy to this relationship? Make it your aim to outdo one another in love.

3) Give Way. Allow the other person some latitude.

But Don't Give Up!! You can't love somebody deeply until you've been through some difficult times together. Don't quit when times are tough. Instead, dig in deep together, and discover the riches of love.

2 comments:

Dale Argot said...

Mark; Thanks I really need this today!

Anonymous said...

LACK of communication causes far more fights -- a hundred times more! It's better to communicate even the unpleasant things, rather than bottling them up inside, if you want your relationship to thrive.

Nice thought, but what do you do when the practice is to 'kill the messenger'? Most people prefer to ignore the unpleasant stuff that needs to be addressed. If they just 'kill the one who is brave enough to bring the topics to light, then they convince themselves the problems are solved.

Actually the hidden problems just stew and become much larger problems, but people can continue to pretend that the problems do not exist. And the messenger was 'killed' for caring enough to do/say something.